The Action

It should have been a touching moment.

On April 2, 2008, renowned industry leader Joan Eisenstodt received recognition by the PCMA Foundation for her lifetime achievements as an educator. During the awards banquet, Eisenstodt delivered a three-minute acceptance speech, thanking several individuals who have contributed to her accomplishments.

Many of the planners and suppliers assembled at the banquet did not hear her remarks, however. In fact, “the roar of the crowd was so loud, there were times I couldn’t even hear myself,” Eisenstodt wrote in a blog entry detailing her experience.

The Reaction

The incident spurred outrage among many industry professionals. Discussion on industry listservs turned toward meetings etiquette, and more, the increasing lack thereof observed by many at recent meetings industry events.

“When I go to industry meetings, it seems everyone feels it is their right to talk during presentations,” Eisenstodt tells Midwest Meetings.

“I find it amazing behavior and think that people need to get back to the basics of etiquette… and for those around them to say, plainly, that it is polite and appropriate to listen.”

“It seems incredible to me that this even needs to be addressed,” says Mitchell Biersner, MTA, specialist, internal events for AARP. “But, as experiences have proven, it does.”

How to Behave at a Meeting

• Do not speak while the speaker is speaking.

The purpose of attending a presentation is to hear what the speaker has to say.

“If someone is being recognized, there is a real good chance that this is a moment that they want to remember for the rest of their life,” says David J. Lutz, managing director of Velvet Chainsaw Consulting. “As professionals, it’s up to each of us to respect that and to help make sure that the memory is a special one.”

Even if you don’t care, others around you might, and the speaker will likely notice your chatter and be distracted. He or she might even call you out for rudeness in front of your peers.

“If you feel a need to talk during an acceptance speech or a talk by a speaker or trainer, write notes or text the people around you, or take it outside,” Eisenstodt suggests.

• Respect the agenda.

If you’ re the one who has been given an allotted timeframe in which to speak or address an item, stick to your time limit.

“[Speakers] need to also be respectful of the audience and keep their remarks to a reasonable length,” Lutz says. “If they spend too much time ‘thanking the academy’ or telling inside stories that only those close to them will understand, they’ll lose the attention of many.”

In addition, no one appreciates those individuals who run overtime and throw off the meeting schedule.

• Choose the company you keep.

If your tablemates are acting inappropriately, a gentle (or stern, depending on the circumstances) reminder to be polite might do wonders.

“Table hosts need to take some ownership of their table and encourage their employees and invited guests to engage in the entire event, including the presentations,” Lutz says.

If that doesn’t work, you don’t always have to stay. Get up and join another table.

“I’ve walked away from groups because they just won’t shut up,” says Julia O’Connor, president and founder of Trade Show Training, Inc.

Which is worse: the possibility of insulting the people at your table, or the possibility that everyone else in the room will think you condone the bad behavior?

• Mind your alcohol intake.

Many professionals have attributed recent bad behavior at industry events to over-imbibing.

“I’ve attended several events and annual meetings/congresses where it was advised of the students to ‘mind how much you drink at the open bar’ so as not to make a fool of yourself among potential employers,” Biersner says. “It seems others in our industry need a similar reminder.”

“This isn’t a frat party,” adds Pat Ahaesy, CMP, CSEP of P&V Enterprises.

Keep a level head while you are in professional settings. Others might be evaluating you and determining whether or not they wish to do business with you.

“Remember that your behavior will be remembered long after the event and you represent both your company and yourself,” Ahaesy says.

And Don’t Forget…

• Respond to RSVP requests.

If you intend to attend, let the planner know you’re coming. As you know, attendance numbers are essential in determining food and beverage guarantees, available seating and many other factors. Don’t add to another planner’s headache by showing up unannounced.

• Be on time.

You know how frustrating it can be when you need to herd your attendees into the meeting room to keep them on schedule. Participants who arrive late disrupt the proceedings and often miss important information.

• Dress appropriately.

If you are attending an industry event, you will be appearing in a professional environment where you will be judged by your colleagues and business partners. It is better to be overdressed than underdressed. Your appearance speaks to your level of professionalism; dress accordingly.

• Turn off your mobile phone.

At one time or another, you have most likely heard your attendees’ phones jingling away during your meetings. Irritating, distracting and disrespectful, isn’t it? Don’t let this happen during another planner’s meeting.

What’s Your Excuse?

Some individuals believe current communication trends might be a factor in declining levels of courtesy.

“[It’s] the constant availability of communication,” O’Connor says. “You have your cell phone, you have your little earpiece, you can talk all the time. People don’t know the boundaries anymore. I don’t know who’s supposed to teach them. I don’t know who reprimands them.”

Other professionals feel a lack of etiquette on the part of some attendees is due to a lack of engagement with the purpose of industry events.

“I’ve heard the arguments [and] excuses used,” Biersner says. “‘Oh, well, I don’t get to see John at Any City CVB but once or twice a year. We need to catch up!’ Or ‘I need to close a sale and this was the most recent time I got to see Joy.’ You’re telling me you couldn’t sit still for ten minutes? Call John and Joy any day of the week.”

“There is always a big push to sell tables for these events,” Lutz explains. “Suppliers end up inviting their best customers and prospects, and it is a social event and opportunity for them.”

For some industry professionals, a lack of manners is inexcusable.

“As a native Iowan, I was brought up to speak when spoken to and pay attention to those who are speaking at the front of the room,” Biersner says. “It’s all common sense in my book.”

Polite Pointers

Pat Ahaesy, CMP, CSEP of P&V Enterprises offers the following additional, general etiquette tips to keep in mind when attending meetings and events:

1. When you arrive at a dinner table, introduce yourself to everyone at the table before you sit down.

2. During a reception, be open to letting other guests into your conversation.

3. Try not to let your group conversation turn into a closed clique.

4. Don’t stand back at the bar and have long, loud conversations during dinner presentations or entertainment.

5. If you see the room is filling up, and there is an available seat at your table, offer it to someone who is searching for a place to sit.

Serenity J. Knutson is the former Editor of Midwest Meetings magazine, where this article first appeared. Serenity is now the Editor in Chief of PlannerWire, the News, Information, and Community website for meeting professionals worldwide. You can contact her any time at Serenity@PlannerWire.com.

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